A Summer State of Being
I’ve been feeling challenged recently over wanting to write more, but not sure what exactly to say.
Isn’t this the perennial problem of every writer?
It perhaps feel more true in the season of summer when I’m less inclined to focus on producing output, and more focused on being present and reveling in summer activities with the people around me.
There is special joy I’m discovering in reclaiming the highlights of my own childhood summers and passing them onto my children to experience:
kiddie pools in the backyard
homemade popsicles
ice cream treats
visits to the park
trips on the paddleboat
library visits
discovering hidden strawberries to pick in the patch
as much swimming as possible
growing vegetables in the garden
family time at the cottage
We add in other experiences:
hosting friends for dinner multiple nights a week
weekly bread baking
indoor/outdoor living
church play groups
date nights for mom and dad
summer birthday parties
family camp in Muskoka
learning how to groom our dog ourselves
reading lots of books
Our days are full of joy and space, enjoying the weather and each other.
The past two months have included a special kind of uncertainty and stress surrounding when exactly I will return to work, and how, and figuring out childcare. After having two children with two maternity leaves I’ve discovered the 12 month leave option is completely insufficient if you desire to place your children in a standard daycare (unlike a home daycare or have family care for them). If I require more maternity leaves in the future they will be the 18 month option in order to give a bit of grace and flex time as when exactly my child can enter care.
But the waiting and wrestling with God over making plans, then change, then more uncertainty etc was not for nothing. Even though it appeared as if each time we tried to take 1 foot forward we were placed 3 feet back, good fruit was produced in the praying, hoping, waiting, and trusting. I shared more about that journey in When the callings of motherhood and work are in conflict. It turns out God’s Spirit of peace can fill the gap, even when I lack control over the results and feel helpless as I wait.
In summer I’m learning to hold onto plans and desires loosely. So much changes on a dime. And yet, here I am planning more. Planning the fall. Planning a year from now (July 2025) as we anticipate filling the summer with family vacations, the cottage, work conferences, and family travelling from overseas.
Planning can be good. It can be a blessing. But I must always remember this:
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. (Proverbs 16:9)
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. (Proverbs 19:21)
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. (Proverbs 3:5-7)
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:33-34)
My trust needs to be in the Lord, not in my plans. It is God who ordains my days, and in his sovereignty knows what joys and trials I will face. He will lead and guide me, even if all I desire and plan for crumbles.
So I tentatively think of the future and form the ideas of plans in my mind and heart. While also keeping my hands open in surrender, knowing the details will change many times.
And I relax and enjoy my summer state of being.
Of more time with my husband.
Of memories made with my children.
Of gathering with friends over dinner tables.
Of gardening and harvesting, bread baking, and meal prepping.
Of making plans while also surrendering them.
And praying in earnest for God to lead and direct in his good timing.
